OUGD101 - Alphabet soup - Font for another person - Presentaion of the work.

My Font

Which personality traits did you choose to respond to and apply to the typeface?
Treasured Possession - Chinese Olympic photos.
Invisibility - superpower
Name.

Reasons?
I thought they were some of the better answers to the questions which could be shown visually better.

In what ways are the results effective?
The font doesn't look like it has any relation to the one I based mine on.
The traits I have chosen to explore are shown subtly. I like what I did, however after presenting to Amber and Fred I now realise it needs bringing back a step - make it even subtler - try and represent the bird by the brush strokes I use, and also the U, V, W and X need looking at the make them look they are at the same point size as the other - add a bit more in.
I feel that I rose to the challenge well - even though there have to be some changes made for submission. I really did feel challenged by this - having not met him before and having to represent him based on four words - I felt at first was ni on impossible, as i felt that when it was drawn onto paper it really wouldn't look like it was for Jonny. However when justifying what I had done I felt that it had gone well and did a good job of representing him based on just a few words.

Jonathan's font for me

I can see clearly that he has used my treasured possession - my bracelets as the theme for my font. I really liked how it was developed beyond my bracelets into other pieces of jewellery. I liked how the weight of the letters was thin as it made it look delicate like jewellery. I thought the layout of the letterforms was good as it looked like a designed piece as well as the individual letters - but I think I would liked to have seen the letters individually and tracked further apart.
I think it is very effective of representing me - I never go out without my bracelets - they remind me of home. The letters are legible and when put together for my name it is readable - although they have to be change slightly - which is why I would liked to see them individually.

Jonathan's name badge for me.

Feedback from Amber and points to address before submission.
Strengths:
Communicates personality.
subtle at points.
strong concept.

Weaknesses:
Some letterforms need to be clearer - for example the "O" looks a bit like a "U".
Even though it is subtle in parts - the bird too clear.

Actions:
How much can I add / takeaway?
Brush strokes - could I just use them to represent a bird? Could it just be a black font ? Rather than a gradient of greys?